For years we’ve maintained a pointless little file of names with a certain characteristic: They reflect the owner’s occupation.
We haven’t paid much attention to it recently, but after today’s papers we knew we had to go public. These are all real names:
How could Francine Prose not write fiction?
How could Usain Bolt not run races?
How could Storm Field not forecast weather?
How could John Fund not report for the Wall Street Journal?
How could Rick Wagoner not run General Motors? (As it turns out, by presidential directive. That’s how.)
How could Igor Judge not preside over a court? (Britain’s highest one, making him Lord Judge, the Chief Justice)
How could Chris Moneymaker not win at poker?
How could Donald Trump not operate a casino?
And what finally tipped us over? Why, today’s obit:
With a name like William Headline . . .
How could he not have been a CNN bureau chief?
It’s all in the great tradition of Major Major from Catch-22. (Ten points for his full name and rank!)
Refile under: can’t make ‘em up
